A revelation came to me at the most unsuspecting time. In the coursework of one of the most mundane things I do in my structured & technique lifestyle, while reading my redeye on my every day commute home from the city.
Replica Watches A seemingly average man sat next to me on the train & asked if this was the train to Lemont. I assured him it was & returned to my business. He was of acceptable appearance in my view, & honestly resembled most of my ex's, trouble I do know, so I continued with my reading & kept my head rings on. as I suspected before our cease he struck up a conversation that lead to an invitation of a drink at one of the locals a block from the train station.
As they walked he told me his story, he was travelling from Sacramento to Boston to visit his relatives & friends & on the way back fell in to some trouble that lead him to an extended stay in Chicago's roughest neighborhoods, & seediest areas.
Vacheron Constantin Watches I was intrigued by his adventure & the after work cocktail turned in to dinner. Being that I am grounded in point of fact, I knew that after this evening I would never see this provocative character again. This never at one time through out the evening struck me as distressing. I enjoyed his company & his opinions on life, his experiences where fascinating.
Another unconventional portion of my evening was that I never worried about my appearance or how I conducted myself. I was more myself than I could keep in mind being around any man in my past. It wasn't that I was under the impression that this was purely on the friendship tip, I knew the second he smiled at me on the train that he was interested. It was the fact that I knew this was a Chance meeting of five souls passing through that freed me from the pressure & pretences of traditional dating. Our time together was brief & enjoyable,
Patek Philippe Watches & a pleasant memory I will always have of the travelling man who picked me up on my mundane commute home from work on a random Thursday evening in late May.
This chance encounter also made me think about dating in it self. Why is their a lot pressure & drama involved?
Longines Watches Why do they feel they need be & act a sure way to continue seeing some one? Men & woman similar carryover on these stressful & tiring facades in the coursework of the first stages of courtship. Why is that? Finally our authentic self has to come out, or they break up with out that revelation & start over. Are they afraid of our true self? Do they feel inadequate & unworthy of being who they are? Why would they would like to attract a man interested in something they are pretending to be? How disappointing is it to find out that the man they adored was basically a representation of his true self? A slick salesman of a company they didn't need to make any business deals with.
Withholding information until a sure amount of time has passed is one thing. You defiantly don't need to share your past relationship scars on the first few dates, & you certainly need to leave out most of your annoying secret single behavior until your stocks have matured.
Chopard Watches So plenty of of us take it to the next level by covering up our true selves or in some cases masking our individuality for another's approval, what is the point? I have learned through experience that the physical flaws are usually the last thing most men are concerned with when the moment of unveiling occurs. For the most part, in my giant experience, men are wrapped in the moment to be concentrating on any of your "problem areas". So usually it is our personalities & mannerisms that they are most avidly concerned with.
Cartier Watches If the true aim of dating is to land a life-time role, or perhaps even a mini-series, why play a role other than ourselves?
Why is it that although I am not positive if I am liking a man, because of coursework it is only been a week, that when he doesn't demand 3 days it becomes a dramatic incident, & all of a sudden its Fiona Apple time? There is no reason for him to not call; everything was fine last they spoke. With the timeframe they are discussing here in the first place it should not even phase me that a man decides to not demand 3 days,
Bvlgari Watches or possibly (gulp) never again. I never slept with him, I never drunkenly made a fool of myself over him or around him, in fact they had a lovely first date, probably one of the most successful I have ever been on thinking about this particular date including shopping. On top of that they spoke multiple times this week. Now it is Sunday night & I have heard nothing from the lovely Mr. Foley, it should not matter. But it does.
Why is it that when these unexplainable events happen that it eats away at our insides? Why do they constantly must over analyze the fact that man is not calling? It is not like this never happens to us; all of us know it happens on a regular basis.
IWC Watches No matter how pretty, or narrow, or rich you are, none of us are exempt from men being complete morons & falling off the face of the earth. It happens to the best of us. Even famous actress' go through this type of bullshit. Don't think me? When you receive a chance, ask one of them.
The timeframe of concern varies for all of us, but for me its 3 days. If after 3 days you are some how to busy to call me, than I am sure you are not going to. Why do men wait for so long? Some actually do come back around for whatever reason, in my personal opinion it is because they suddenly recognize "I'd like to get laid soon, perhaps I ought to call that girl I went out with a couple of times already..." I honestly think that they do forget about us for some reason, or perhaps they are trying to stay aloof & detached. Irrespective of the reason when a man doesn't demand over 3 days in my book they are not willing to put forth the hard work it takes to keep an basically distracted filly such as I.
Omega Watches Here is the most ridiculous part of the equation, & the detail I am not proud of admitting, when they don't call, my interest is peaked. I suddenly desire them to call even over before when they were being nice tiny boys & I thought I had him trapped in my web. Give men credit were credit is due. They know this, & this is why most of them refrain from communication for extended periods of time. I blame the media, back in the day men had no outlet for such knowledge & our secrets were safe.
Now they have chick flicks & women's magazines. The five sexes can be friends, & friends talk. Woman have divulged important secrets to their dotting male friends because they naively believed that they were helping them to make a fellow sister happy,
Rolex Watches & simultaneously helping them to be happy. All of us need our friends to be happy. I myself have sought council in a male mate to describe the actions of a feasible suitor. Its beneficial, but still makes things messy. Equality be damned, they are not equal, & all is fair in love & war.
So men are now aware of our secrets. When they don't call they pine over them, & actually like them over when they were speaking to them & communication was regular. I do know some girls actually do like men before they start this game, I cant count myself among them, for I lie in wait for such incidents to occur. Call me psychic, call me pessimistic, but I do know that man wont be calling me anything soon.
They don't loose our numbers, or become insanely busy at work. No body died,
prom dresses & they weren't hit by a bus. Their rings haven't been shut off, nor somehow fell in a lake. With the fact that the current man in query is the manager for Cingular wireless, I do know that he could not possibly try & blame this on his mobile phone, which is where my number resides in the hopes he will some day use it again. This silence is intentional, & not beyond his control. He is either playing a game, or has lost interest.
Since I firmly think in the saying that ladies are crazy & men are dull, they tend to think that the latter is defiantly the case. He's lost interest in me. Here come the questions. "What did I do?" "What didn't I do?" "Did he meet some one else prettier or thinner?" ("THAT BITCH!"
"Everything was fine & then he doesn't call?" Let's paint a vivid picture of what is happening on both sides of the fence here.
You, the "uncalled" woman, are standing in line at Starbucks together with your five best friends on a break from shopping (which is always the best thing to do in situations like this, they ought to get discount cards for times like these,
dresses lets start a petition) milling over every detail of the events that occurred in the coursework of your brief beginnings & your five best friends are ever supportive & insist that he will call. Perhaps you have friend's who feel as I sometimes do, & tell you that he is a jerk & you should not waste your time (& mine) speaking about him. They are all supportive in our own one-of-a-kind ways. Here is what the "not calling" man is doing: Sitting on the couch watching whatever sport is in season at the time, with some blank expression on his face, & no thoughts whatsoever going on in his head beyond trying to conjure up the energy to get another beer. Woman in their 20's & 30's & 40's go through the same thing over & over again. Are there any ladies out there who are exempt? Have any some how discovered the secret to maintaining sanity while aimlessly sifting through limitless men looking for one who is worth spending over a night with? I have basically mastered finding a man worthy of an evenings worth of time, & even if he was barely worth that, there is always mass consumption of alcohol. That is simple, coincidently that is also being simple.
Cheap Vacheron Constantin Watches They are not all created like Samantha Jones from Sex & the City. The remainder of the population could never be satisfied with such a lifestyle. (I would bet there's only a few woman out there who haven't had a "jonesian" moment locked away in their past some where) For some reason there is something in a woman's DNA that craves being a couple. They can fight it, they can deny it, but it is what every woman desires. Why?
Cheap Patek Philippe Watches I cannot appear to understand. I have asked all of my coupled girlfriends, & get plenty of of the same answers. Sense of purpose to some one else's life, fear of being alone, a regular sex partner, (all right that was the best reason I could come up with for being in a relationship, so sue me) Apparently this whole relationship thing is important to society. Besides for reason of proper procreation, I cannot appear to figure out why. While discussing this point with my girlfriends I have received the same answer over & over again, someday I will.
When it happens I'll let you know, I am sure hallmark made a card for it. I will expect proper correspondence for such a lucky occasion.
It happened again!
I was enjoying an evening with my tiny 2-yr. elderly son at the playground when, BAM,
Cheap Longines Watches it happened. You ever have one of those moments in life when you know you are being taught an important lesson?
Picture in your mind a chaotic atmosphere of over fifty tiny babies battling for their turn to play on a handful of playground rides & objects.
Recipe for catastrophe, huh? That is what I thought, , until my observations quickly picked up something else.
Sure, they were walking in to one another, crying & trying to get ahead of each other for the rides.
Cheap Chopard Watches They were walking across other babies who had fallen down in front of them & were pushing one another to get their turn. They were walking to their parents for comfort after getting their feelings hurt.
As I stood there taking in the scenery before me, those tiny blessings of life showed me some important lessons about relationship success. In case you will indulge me a moment, I will share with you what I revealed.
Relationship Success Lesson #1 - The Principle of Fun:
Not much to say here! It is simple; these babies loved to have fun.
In adult relationships,
Cheap Bvlgari Watches life throws curves at us constantly. Obligations come at us from every angle. It takes conscious hard work to keep in mind to have fun together in life. I emphasize the word, "together". I am not speaking about the type of fun where the husband plays golf & the spouse shops.
The "heavy" takes it toll on relationships, & they do well when they give our relationship a time-out from the heavy & lighten up.
Cheap Cartier Watches Couples who play together, stay together.
Relationship Success Lesson #2 - The Principle of Fascination:
As I stood there watching, it was fascinating to see how the more youthful babies reacted to the older babies. It didn't take much observance to see that they were taken by & fascinated with them.
Fascination! While it is not a word often associated with relationship success, in case you need prospering relationships, you may need to give it some priority.
I was lucky earlier in life to have a couple who had been married over twenty-six years model this for me.
Cheap IWC Watches Whenever someone saw them together, they were holding hands & playfully giddy as in the event that they had started dating. When I asked what caused her to be this much in love with a man after so plenty of years of marriage, he responded, "He fascinates me."
Let that sink in a moment.
Are you an fascinating person? Would you think about yourself intriguing?
Cheap Omega Watches Do you have interests in life that cause other people to need to be around you, or are you often bored?
A few things to note:
* Bored people are boring people.
* Having interests will help make us more fascinating in life.
* In the world of relationship enrichment, "Couch Potatoes Need Not Apply".
Relationship Success Lesson #3 - The Principle of Forgiveness:
As I stood & watched, five babies were walking on the playground in opposite directions, & I saw it coming before they did. They each circled the same object until they literally met in the middle. Five more babies came around & did the same thing.
Tempers flared, emotions ran high, tears ran down their cheeks & feelings were hurt.
Cheap Rolex Watches Less than five minutes later, they were off walking & playing together, & all was forgotten.
What would happen in adult relationships if they learned how to do that? In lieu of internalizing everything, they learn not to take it all so personally. In lieu of holding grudges, they learn to hold hands.
Babies have soft hearts - life can sometimes harden them.
Sheds a tiny light on the phrase, "Except you become like tiny children", doesn't it?
(C)Copyright 2004 advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com by Stanley J. Leffew ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!
Stanley J. Leffew is the Author of, "How To Be Wanted For a Lifetime of Nights & Not a Night of a Lifetime". His web-site is based on this same theme. Find out for yourself why feeding desire & leading-with-the-body in life & relationships fails to satisfy the longing of the human.
A lack of conflict
a tiny light on the phrase
After spending a few hours there
